Beauty Cookson

Or I prefer the term: The McLaugh-a-lock.
    This exquisitely rare species only appears once in a blue moon, and if you happen to stumble across one, consider yourself lucky. Only one sixth of the population will ever be blessed with the aura of this delightfully interesting specimen, the other will never experience such a life-changing encounter.
    Although perhaps hard to distinguish the McLaugh-a-lock from any human being, the key features to look out for are: incredible talent when it comes to mathematics (scientists have studied it's background and have concluded this comes from fellow ancestors becoming professional javlin participants, thus grew up around studying parabola's and how to ensure the javlin does not take a turn and land on the thrower's head), baking skills that appear to come naturally (the lucky few who have had the honour of trying the McLaugh-a-lock's famous gingerbread men have described the experience as "paradigm shifting" and "life-altering"), and of course, flawless trombone playing (listeners have claimed to of been deeply moved by the melodies produced, some even being reduced to having breakdowns as they come to realize the true meaning of life).

McLaugh-a-lock in her natural state.

    The McLaugh-a-lock can often be found in it's natural habitat, deep in the heart of a well-known kingdom of which is united. It has most frequently been geometrically spotted at an approx latitude of 50° 50' 31.779" (Degrees Minutes Seconds) and a longitude of 0° 13' 4.8678" (Degrees Minutes Seconds). Searching in these dense areas of land, it is not uncommon to stumble across an array of empty cups, branded "Shakeaway", of what appears to be traces of Terry's Chocolate Orange with minstrels, something scientists have stated to be a "claimed favourite" of the McLaugh-a-lock. Past explorers who have ventured furthur claim to of heard strange noises. They have accounted what sounds like "an out of this world, intergalatical war". Be it so, those whom of which have had the honour of getting close enough will soon realise it is not quite this extreme, but is simply the intonation emitted from one of her most valuable possessions: the Play Station 2. From this is where some of her most valuable lessons are learnt. The phrases in one of her most prized game, Jak, often provide educational gain to that of the player, this, scientists claim, is where many of her survival instincts and skills have originated from.
    Although there is a lot more to say on this subject, I will stop here and let you discover your own experience with this unique being. If in doubt, the positive aura of which shrouds you when in the presence of this individual is a sure sign you are in the right place. You will sense what others have only been able to describe as "an epiphany". Life as you know will forever be changed, and without reason, you will become one of us. Us of which being McLaugh-a-lockians. And you as an individual will hold the proud title of McLaugh-a-locker.