Unanswered hope is shattered hope

I feel like writing a really long or at least semi-long entry about something but what that something is I just do not know. Maybe I should write about how I can't think of anything to write but that's not interesting and the only reason I want to is because I want to be sarcastic so maybe I'll write a really long entry about how I am feeling but hide the reality of it with falseness which pours itself amongst the text from it's overflowing core thus blanketing what is really there, much like an erupting volcano with the lava spilling down it's sides, it exposes few parts so as not to create the illusion of a doll house with polly pocket's being played with by a 5 year old child who has no idea of what is to come, the innocent and uneducated, creating an ideal life for these toys as if to reflect the dreams she holds in her unevolved mind about how life should be. The perfect life; tricking herself into the belief that dreams come true and she is beautiful and will grow old and graceful like a swan and she could even call herself that too, Swan. The Swan. The only one who everyone can love, the prettiest and the smartest, the wealthiest and the kindest, gentle and loving, judging no one. Unique is how she will describe herself, and her parents won't help when they call her special. Building up this false identity which consumes her mind so much it becomes her reality. The only reality she will accept. As the years go by realisation slowly creeps in. Hardly noticeable at first but still there. Getting closer. Closer to the big finale; The final dance, the last show, take a bow and goodnight. Her poor dreams shattered into nothingness as she lays on her deathbed finally able to understand what has been all along. The understanding that her dreams were never there in the first place and all the things she has built up are worthless nothings of anything and not until she closes her eyes for the last time is she at peace as she has finally found what it is she has needed all along.